In a matter of comfort
by K8B
Summary: Castle was devastated at the knowledge of his father being part of CIA. He seeks comfort in Beckett but things took a turn when she made a confession. It's how Castle wants to deal with it from now.


"Castle?" Kate was shocked when she opened the door.

He had a brown paper bag in his hand, and it looked heavy. Filled-with- bottles-of-wine kind of heavy. She raise her eye brows at him but made way, indirectly inviting him in.

When he made his way to her kitchen counter, Rick placed the bag down and gave it a little stare before he plucked enough courage to allow his eyes to meet Kate's. He heaved a heavy sigh before he let out the words, "I can't let it go. I just want to believe she's right."

Kate nodded, understanding where he was coming from, "About your father?"

Her guess was right on the spot. Guess she knows him too well. Rick never looked so distraught before. Not even the day when he got frustrated with what their relationship actually was and her not letting go of her mother's case. This was the side of him she had never seen.

He nodded, "Yeah. Why don't you hand me two of those beautiful wine glasses over there so that I can attempt to drown my sorrows?"

Kate did not move. She stood where she was and looked at Rick with soft eyes.

"So, are you," Rick was about to ask again when he was interrupted.

"You're not going to get drunk, Rick. Not tonight," she held his hand and lead him over to her sofa instead.

'Rick?' he thought to himself as he allow his crime-fighting partner to lead the way.

She sat him down at one end of the sofa while she took the other end. However, they both sat 45 degrees facing each other, knees almost touching. She is not attempting to be his therapist, but just a kind friend offering a listening ear.

"So, you can pour it all out to me," Kate offered.

"And risk you judging me? No, Detective Beckett. I'd rather sink to the bottom of the open sea," he managed a smirk, before his expression changed when he thought of them, almost drowning.

"Well, Castle, I don't think it will be fair for me to judge you. Not after all those support you gave me while we worked on my mother's case, when you risked your life to tackle me to the ground when I got shot, and certainly not when you," Kate was almost going to tell him she heard his confession, but managed to hold it back, "waited for me patiently to recover."

She stared down at her hands, fidgeting those long and thin fingers of hers. She then looked up and continued, "And I still felt pretty bad leaving you wordless for months, Castle. I really do. So allow me to be here for you. No judgements."

"I fear for all things possible. It's a curse of a writer- I think of all the possible scenarios, even those with unthinkable endings. So what if, Kate, my father is connected to your mother's murder? Somehow, somewhere? And his involvement is not exactly in our favour?"

"After all we've been through, I would be damn if you decide to switch sides but frankly Castle, I supposed blaming you would be unfair. And stopping you from being on your father's side would be unreasonable. So, I would say, we would cross it when we get to it. At the moment, you are my partner. And I am here for you, and all I've got to say now is I trust you will do what's right when we come to it."

She waited for a few moment for Rick to say something. He didn't. He was staring blankly at the empty coffee table in front of them. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Then He closed it, speechless.

Kate moved closer towards him and reached for his shoulders. She gave him an empathetic look as she gently squeezed his broad shoulders. She bit her lower lips as she fought the thoughts of kissing him, to offer him the warmth and comfort he needed at the moment.

Her hands moved to his collars and she stroked it gently, hoping it would comfort him a little more than the shoulder squeeze.

A moment later, Rick slowly turned his head towards Kate. Finally, he looked straight into her eyes. She instantly felt his pain and confusion the moment she gazed into his eyes. The connection was deep. She was left speechless and her mind blanked out as her heart instantly absorbed his emotions.

Unable to bear the overwhelming emotions, Kate grabbed his collar tight and slowly pulled herself towards him. His eyes were semi-closed, now his vision was sealed on her lips. Her moist and longing lips. Kate slowly closed her eyes as she waited for Rick to make his move.

"I don't need this Kate," he spoiled the moment as he eased her away respectfully.

"What?" Kate asked, puzzled at his rejection. It's Castle we're talking about. She knows he was waiting for an opportunity like this, but he just pushed it away.

"This," Rick replied, "this sympathy kiss will get us nowhere. And you are not Sophia. You are not a conquest I would like to make out of a muse. You are different, Kate. This kiss would spoil it all. And yes, I am a writer. How I can write things off as easily as my books."

Instead of being upset and embarrassed, she understood him. "Rick, it wasn't like that. It wasn't going to be a sympathetic kiss. I don't want to lose you, before I admit how much you really mean to me. How much I actually hate the fact that for a moment I let what Sophia said get into my head. And I hate.."

Rick interrupted, "Wait, what got into your head? What did she say?"

"Well to cut things short, let's just say she regretted sleeping with you and for a moment I doubted where this relationship will end," Kate admitted, "But I realised her lies the moment she pointed the gun at me. And risking losing you again, was just the right push I needed, to tell you..."

Kate paused. Rick waited patiently for her to continue.

Kate took a deep breath in and let it all out of her chest, "to tell you, Rick, that I..."

She tried to force it out. This time, she managed, "I love you too."

Rick was taken aback, but not at the confession of her love for him.

"Too?" He clarified.

"I heard you, Rick." She confessed, getting comfortable calling him by his first name, "The moment I dropped to the ground, I saw you, and I heard you. Clearly, before everything went pitch dark."

"Why did you hide it from me?" he sounded calm. He was not angry, at least not at the moment.

Kate could just stare down at her hands. Her palm was breaking into cold sweat. 'What was I thinking, confessing it all to him? This clearly isn't the time!'

She could knock her head once, twice and thrice for what she had just unleashed upon poor Richard Castle. Without looking up to him at all, she replied, "I wasn't ready, Rick. Truthfully, I still don't think I am ready. I meant it when I told you I need to close my mother's case before I could crumble down these walls."

"What changed?" He asked, eager for more answers.

"When I thought I almost lost you. Again."

"But you didn't. I am here now. Right here with you."

"First the bank robbery," she recalled, "And when the bomb goes off all I could think of is you. Afraid I would lose you."

"And why did you not confessed at dinner?" Rick countered. Smart move. He just killed her pawns off.

"Because you ruined it," she injected a fair amount of joke into the truth, "by counting the times you saved me."

The conversation became lighter. Rick was more eager to learn of her feelings, not dwelling on her decision to keep it from him in the first place.

"And last night," she referred to the time she thought she had lost him while her cruiser was sinking, "when you didn't respond to me when I called out to you."

"But I saved you instead," Rick smiled. The first time she saw him break into a smile that particular evening.

"That you did. And of course, the real push I had was when I thought Sophia was going to," Kate was going to continue when Rick finished her sentence for her, ever so cutely, "put a bullet through my brain?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded.

"Well Detective, you forgot the thickness of my skull."

"I supposed I did," she smiled back at him, as she hesitated to touch his warm hand rested on the sofa, just an inch away from hers.

"And if I read you correctly, you want me, right about now," Rick placed his piece. Check mate.

Like the fallen king, Kate surrenders, "More than ever."

She reached out for his hand and held it in hers. His hands were big and his grip got authoritative as he pulled her close to him. His face came down to meet hers, and he looked into her brown eyes. Her eyes demanded him to kiss her. The message was clear from the beginning.

Kate was ready for the kiss, but Rick was not going to give it to her. He slipped his face by her left cheek and planted a warm peck instead. As for Kate, it was a good start. She felt her heart melted, and then reformed itself when his lips left her blushing cheek. The kiss was simple yet soft, and intimate.

Kate's conjecture of him was confirmed- he is a changed man. Sophia had underestimated him completely. On top of being a much experienced writer now, he is also not stalking his muses to sleep with them. He had been stalking her for far too long to give up on a perfect opportunity for a kiss.

"I've said it once, but for the sake of better times now, I will say it again," he said with a warm smile that gave him a boyish look, "I love you, Kate. I really do."

She was about to ask him, 'Why don't you kiss me then?' when he continued, "But I can't kiss you. Not yet. I shall save it for a more… appropriate occasion."

Kate just put on a wide smile and said, "And for that, Castle," she emphasised on his last name instead now, "I hope we can keep it quiet for a while longer."

"Well, I can. Can you?" he opposed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If I hear a word about anything from Alexis, I would take it you decided not keep things hush?"

"What's THAT supposed to mean now, Castle?" She had her left hand on her hips, indicating she was about to pounce on him any minute.

"Well, I'm just saying. When Lanie knows, she's sure to tell Alexis and Alexis will spread it to my mother and the news comes right back to me. And I don't think Alexis is that ready to know about us," he explained in a logical sequence of events he foresighted.

"She's not ready to accept or you are not ready to let her know, Castle?" she prompted for the honest answer.

"Okay, fine. I am not ready to let her know as yet. It would..." he was about to give that ridiculous reason again but Kate intercepted with precision, "undermines our unique cohesion?"

Rick just nodded in agreement, "Exactly..."


End file.
